


Disappear

by asukesay



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-13
Updated: 2013-11-13
Packaged: 2018-01-01 10:15:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1043621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asukesay/pseuds/asukesay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rei wonders when beauty stopped being perfection and started becoming Nagisa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disappear

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.

.

For the longest time, Rei's life has been about numbers and equations and mathematics and logical thinking.

Beauty, to him, is something he can understand. Beauty is when all the cogs mesh together, fitting perfectly, aligned _just so_ to create a masterpiece - something so stunning in both function and appearance, something Rei can only hope to one day achieve himself.

And then Hazuki Nagisa comes bouncing - literally - into his life, all blonde hair and big eyes and secret, mischievous smiles, and Rei starts thinking that no...

Beauty is so much more than that.

.

.

It hasn't been a month since he was forced - or, persuaded until he broke - onto the Iwatobi swim team, and already his ideas of beauty are flying out the window - disappearing into the crystal clear depths of the one thing he just can't seem to figure out.

He's not stupid, he knows. If there's one thing that Rei one-hundred percent knows for certain, it's that he is not stupid.

So why is something as simple as water a concept that's so difficult for him to grasp?

Nagisa is by his side on the train, quieter than usual, and Rei has half a mind to ask what's wrong, because they're friends now, aren't they?

He opens his mouth but - as always - the blonde beats him to it.

"You're amazing, Rei-chan," he says softly, and Rei wonders if he heard him correctly. "I can only imagine how amazing you'll be as a swimmer."

and he looks up at him with bright fuchsia eyes and _breathe, Rei, just breathe -_

Nagisa grins. "I can't wait to see!"

Beauty, Rei learns on a Thursday afternoon, is long blonde eyelashes and sugary, pink eyes.

.

.

When Rei wakes up, the only thing he knows is that he is a burden.

He's the slowest on the team, he knows.

Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai and Nagisa...they've all been swimming since they were children. They were amazing at what they did, and despite that, they invited him into their family with open arms, knowing that he was good for an amateur butterfly stroke and nothing more.

And still, they encouraged him. Told him he was doing well, and pushed him to get better.

He just didn't want to let them down.

But true to form, he did.

Makoto-senpai dove in after him...tried to reach out for him...and he remembers bright green eyes, wide and terrified, looking into his before he went under.

"Rei-chan!"

Nagisa...

Rei opens his eyes, and when he fumbles with shaking, freezing fingers to get his glasses on, finds that beauty - at least for the night - is the smell of the ocean and burning lungs and a tear stained face and dripping, blonde hair.

.

.

Rei wonders how he gets himself into these situations.

He wonders where in his high school career he let himself get so distracted by exuberant blondes and gentle giants and apathetic blue-eyed boys; wonders when he stopped caring.

He wonders when exactly a guy like him could get someone as achingly beautiful as Nagisa underneath him, panting and writhing against him.

"Faster, Rei-chan." Nagisa begs, and Rei can't help but comply, gripping them both tighter in his hand, despite their dangerous location and the fact that they could get caught any minute.

There's no way to pinpoint what's beautiful about this moment other than that everything is. He's being suffocated in perfection - a perfection he knows wouldn't exist if it were anyone but the blonde whimpering against his neck, thrusting back into his hand.

"I'm gonna come," he whispers, and everything else in Rei's life is irrelevant: the water that's turned ice cold against his back is gone, the footsteps padding wetly on the stone of the showers disappears, his own pleasure is forgotten because he has never seen anything more beautiful than what's in front of him.

And then the seductive little minx drops onto his knees, bright eyes staring into his as kiss-swollen lips part, and Rei finds himself being corrected - now he's never seen anything more beautiful.

.

.

On the walk home, just for a second, Nagisa shuffles closer than Rei is used to them being in public, takes his hand in his and gives it a squeeze, smiling up at him in a way Rei can only describe as perfection.

Nagisa is something he will never understand - an enigma - but he is nothing short of beautiful.

.

.

.


End file.
